Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
