I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
