I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I love having hate sex.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Your topless pictures make me question reality
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
