we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
