It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
