So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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