Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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