She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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