She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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