i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's blow job season.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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