Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
