Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
