I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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