I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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