i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
