he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
