At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
