Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
