so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
