Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
