Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
