Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
