i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
