Plan B is the new Plan A
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
