I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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