so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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