I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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