once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
