On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
