Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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