WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
