Welp...herpes.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
