So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
