How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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