Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
