cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
