Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
