I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
