Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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