i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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