it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
