Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
