if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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