i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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