Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
