I need help removing her.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
