So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
