So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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