fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
