remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
